The basement does not have fake walls. There are no bodies buried in them. There is no Cask of Amontillado - or maybe there is, but we aren't telling you. All wine found missing at the end of the night will be blamed on the poltergeists and your mother's left shoe.

Request met for thebigpicture.
Request was: "+snuggles the evil one+"
Request asnwered: ( Strange bedfellows. )

First Come, First Served
1. Comment.
2. Request something.
3. Be first and suffer the lack of consequence at your increasingly idle hands.</center>

Hugs produce more chemical responses in the human body than kisses. So next time, chastise your kids for hugging on your front porch - the frenching was the far less of two evils and is teaching them the valuable skills in taste identification.

The attic is off limits. Not only are ghosts rumored to be haunting the floorboards, raccoons have been spotted foaming and frothing about with Hurr-rabies. Their bites inflict dull pain on everyone around the person bitten.

Request met for donkey.
Request was: "i'm so confused ;_;"
Request answered: ( Wings. )

First Come, First Served
1.) Comment.
2.) Request something.
3.) Be first except if this were a sleepover, and you were first to fall asleep, because then you're fair game in an unfair way.

Wind Advisary Warnings went up 39% after Red Bull was put onto the market in the late 20th Century Fox.

All restrooms are available for use, except those on fire under construction. Port-a-Potties have been lined up on the side of the house for your convenient use. Neighborhood kids have been noted to tip said temporary bathrooms, hence velociraptors have been leased out from Universal Studios. Contract allows the use of tazors on the genetically rebuilt ancients - you will find them in a basket at the fence. Good luck!

Request met for sugartits.
Request was: "Why do I know who you obviously are, serial adder? YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING. ;_;"
Request answered: ( Panic! At The Disc Co.'s newest title, 'Why Try When You're Trolling When Your Bridge Has Been Sold Anyway?' )

First Come, First Served
1.) Comment.
2.) Request something.
3.) Red bull gives you wings... If you're first.

When trolling, try not to take over another troll's bridge.  Not only is this socially accepted, people might be happy.And only people who are not trolls want to make people happy.

I ask that you keep all party chairs on the ground, and avoid sinking statuary in the pool. Yes, even the mermaids. Stone still sinks, and the tile that is the bottom of the pool is beautiful, blue, and flawed. Don't hurry it's degredation.

Request met for sailormoonsays.
Request was: "U R MY MORTAL ENEMY!!"
Request answered: ( Permission granted. )

First Come, First Served
1.) Comment.
2.) Request something.
3.) Wank Be first.

It is recommended by Doc Taurs to keep all mortal enemies at room temperature. And in hell.

You may hand out free things with strings attached in the backyard, while keeping your voices down to not disturb the neighbors in the cemetary.

Request met for inject.
Request was: "...*curious as to why you serial added my friendslist*..."
Request answered: ( Why I serial added your friendslist. )

First Come, First Served
1.) Comment.
2.) Request something.
3.) If you're not first, try again. Or weep. Bitterly.

Ovens are wonderful places to watch buns rise. All night long.

You may leave your coats with the butler. If I don't have one, I just hired you, so you get to put your own coat into the closet, which if I also don't have, means your car. If you don't have a car, you're whining.

First Come, First Served

1.) Comment.
2.) Request something.
3.) If you're not first, lol.

At least this won't be like that one time at Actor's Camp - where we all had to pretend we were at Band Camp. I'll never see a xylophone the same way again.